Thursday, June 28, 2007

Reason #317

Keith Hernandez once retired his pants after a night cap.

new minute or so

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
Written by Steve Hofstetter, Adam Hofstetter, Cody Marley, Ryan Murphy, Rich Ragains, Elliot Steingart, and Chris Strait

Congratulations to Jeff Gordon and his wife on their new daughter Ella. Ella will be sponsored by Dupont.

The NBA's Paul Pierce and Austin Powers star Verne Troyer got into an argument after Pierce addressed Troyer as "Mini Me." Luckily it was just a small argument, and ended shortly.

LeBron James has been appointed commissioner of The Bubblicious Ultimate Bubble Blowing League. Because no one knows more about having a bubble burst than LeBron James.

The NHL is hoping that new league wide uniforms will help boost interest in the sport. All five people watching on Versus will really appreciate the effort.

Many baseball fans are still talking about Sammy Sosa hitting his 600th career homerun. Enough already – put a cork in it. Congratulations Sammy – to think how many empty wine bottles that must have taken.

Texas Rangers owner Tom Hicks suspects that two-time AL MVP Juan Gonzalez may have used steroids. Hicks also suspects that the earth may indeed orbit around the sun.

A monkey will throw out the ceremonial first pitch before an upcoming game at Fenway Park. She'll be the hairiest creature to take the mound in Boston since David Wells.

And a woman spent one million dollars on a conman pretending to be Pedro Martinez. The man was proven to be a fraud when it was discovered he could pitch.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com

Monday, June 18, 2007

Reason #316

Keith Hernandez's eyes never lie... his mustache, however, can never be trusted.

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Reason #315

Keith Hernandez leaves hands feeling soft and refreshed.

Monday, June 4, 2007

Reason #314


Keith Hernandez once christened the bedding section of a New Jersey IKEA.

Reason #313

Keith Hernandez never whacked another guy. He never even considered it for a minute.

Friday, June 1, 2007

Reason #312


Guest blogger: Eli Moshman - Melbourne, Australia


To all those people who say that everybody has to put their pants on one leg at a time...Keith Hernandez proves you wrong at least twice a day.